Friday, 21 October 2016

Where is Emma's Phone?!

“Yes!” shouted a voice. Straight away, I knew it was my sister’s voice. Today is her birthday and she was getting the new Samsung Galaxy 7. ‘Lucky her’ I thought. I rushed out of my bedroom wanting to see the new Samsung.

I was banging on my sister's door
“ Emma can I see your new Phone please” I cried.
“ Leave me alone and stop banging on my door!” Emma shouted.
“ But I really want to see it...please” I said kindly.  No reply.
“Please!” I exclaimed. The answer was still no. I made my way to my room feeling grumpy.  Emma treats me as if I was not there. It was totally unfair.

I dropped to my bed, until I finally fell asleep. I woke up still feeling grumpy towards my sister. I went downstairs to see if dinner was ready, but as I was heading down stairs Emma burst out of her bedroom door and screamed.
I turn towards her and shouted “ what’s the matter with you”.

She looked at me crying so hard. “ I- I -I lost my phone!” she struggled to say.
“ Impossible, you're kidding right” I said confused.  
“How could I” she replied. “ You took it, did you “ she said greedily pointing at me.
“How would I touch your phone, when I was sleeping” I shouted feeling so frustrated.
“It’s your problem so why can’t your solve it!” I cried. I could not help it. I stomped down the stairs.

When I came to the kitchen  Mum looked at me, but my gaze was at the phone sitting on a table near the fridge. “ Mum.. who’s phone is that” I asked pointing at the mysterious phone.
“ Well, it’s Emma’s of course...why” said Mum. Suddenly Emma appeared. She stared straight at the phone then at Mum.
“ Is that my phone?” asked Emma. “Yes it is!” I said excitedly.
“ B-b-but how did it came here” She cried
“ Well it certainly does not have legs… or does it” I said winking at Mum.
Suddenly I burst out laughing. Emma had no idea why I was laughing looking very confused. She quickly went to grab her phone then turn to leave.


  1. Hi Von,
    I really like how you used your punctuation and started your story with onomatopoeia. I could connect with your story because I have experienced something similiar. I think you could proof read just to check if your story makes sense.

  2. Hi Von,
    I really like how you made conversations with your characters to your story.
    I really like your story because you explained how "Emma" lost her new phone and it reminds me of when my sister got a new phone from my dad and then she thought she lost her phone and thought my brother took it cause he wanted to go on it but my older sister had her phone.
    It would be better if you made sure that your story actually made sense at the conclusion of your story.

    Great work!

  3. Hey Von,I like your story you know when I read your story it reminds me of my brother losing his phone.


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